


Stuck

by silverrstardust



Series: Fear [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Let ruby cry, Love Confessions, Nuts and Dolts - Freeform, Responsibility, Ruby Rose (RWBY) Needs a Hug, Someone dies, Spoilers: Volume 8 (RWBY), Winter Maiden!Ruby, admitting when you’re SAD, feelings are hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28463049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverrstardust/pseuds/silverrstardust
Summary: How can she be expected to keep moving forward after something like this?Contains spoilers for Volume 8 Chapter 7!!
Relationships: Blake Belladonna & Ruby Rose, Penny Polendina & Ruby Rose, Penny Polendina/Ruby Rose
Series: Fear [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089347
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	Stuck

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Remains](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28328931) by [BunniesofDoom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunniesofDoom/pseuds/BunniesofDoom). 



> Special thanks to BunniesofDoom for letting me do my own take on Ruby becoming the winter maiden!

Destiny is a funny thing. 

Sometimes it’s exactly what you want it to be. Sometimes it goes exactly the way you had planned, and sometimes it turns out to be something completely different. A different path can be a _good_ thing. It can change who you are for the better, maybe turn you into something that you never thought you could be, something that could make you great. 

But it can also be a bad thing, turning you into something you can’t even recognize. It can be a destiny that… was too high of a price to achieve. 

Ruby stares mouth agape, struggling to breathe as the dust in the crater clears and she sees her friend, Penny- _Penny_ , who she last saw alive and well, soaring away to a safe location with her father waiting for her- lying limp in the rubble. A brief pain spikes in her temple, as memories flash before her eyes. Suddenly instead of lying in a crater, Penny is dismembered in the middle of Amity Arena, with a million eyes watching with horror. 

She squeezes her eyes shut to push back the tears pooling in her eyes, quickly swiping them away at the corners with her wrist. Ruby can’t let herself fall into shock again. She can’t afford to this time. 

Using her semblance, she’s by Penny’s side in an instant, rose petals huddled around them delicately. She can hear the rubble sliding and crumbling from behind her one second, and feels Blake and Weiss’ presence behind her the next. 

Ruby cradles Penny’s head in her arms, heartbroken at the sight of her beautiful porcelain face, with her rosy cheeks and shimmering emerald eyes, now cracked and falling apart. From behind her, Weiss gasps softly, likely shocked by the damage. But Ruby doesn’t see the metal underneath. She only sees Penny. 

A single word tears Ruby’s throat to shreds. “Penny?” Her body won’t stop trembling. 

For a few heartbeats she hears nothing but deadly silence, and a muffled battlefield. There’s a war going on, she can feel the crater quaking from the raging battle in Atlas, but for once in her life, Ruby is selfish. She finds herself uncaring about the war at Atlas’ borders. She finds herself uncaring that Salem has practically got her fingers wrapped around their throats. She hates that she doesn’t care, because she should. 

But Penny is… like this (the word she’s searching for is lost in her numb thoughts), and it might be her fault.

She feels whirring and shifting stuttering in her arms, and instantly caresses Penny’s cheek. Her eyes open to slits, and Ruby can see a dim murky green underneath. She smiles, lips quivering. “Penny.” Ruby pulls Penny closer to her body and touches her own forehead with hers. 

“R…uby,” Penny slurs out. “I’m- I’m… sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Ruby assures her with a whisper. “Whatever it is you’re apologizing for… it’s okay.”

“I think… Ironwood did something,” Penny warns her softly, looking like she’s starting to power off again. “Something inside me doesn’t feel right. It feels evil.”

Ruby grabs hold of her hand and presses it against her own chest. “You could _never_ be, Penny. You have a heart, and it’s _good_. I told you. Stay with me, okay? I’ll fix you.” 

Penny shakes her head, and manages to squeeze Ruby’s hand weakly. “I don’t know… if I will make it. Ruby… I…”

“Don’t you dare, Penny, please,” Ruby keens and whines, clinging onto her friend tightly. “Don’t leave me again. Don’t go.” 

“I’m… sorry,” Penny heaves out, and Ruby can see her smiling. Her eyes are dimming, the little power button sitting on her chest flickering. “Ruby… I want you to know that you… you light up my life. Even if I don’t entirely understand what it means… I … love you.”

Then her eyes close, and the hand in Ruby’s releases its grip. 

Ruby’s world feels like it’s ending as she wails, burying her face into Penny’s shoulders. Wracked with sobs, she hiccups out a confession that she should’ve revealed a long time ago while she still had a chance… when Penny was still alive to hear it. 

“I love you, too.” 

These four simple intimate words become the words that reshape her destiny. 

Ruby’s vision brightens and she peels her head away from Penny’s body, teary silver eyes in awe as Penny’s body glows a brilliant green- the same green as her aura. It seems to tear itself from her body, and suddenly Ruby can feel it forcing itself into hers. She feels herself screeching from the overwhelming stream of power suddenly flowing through her veins. Her insides feel as though they’ve been replaced with lava, the burning too much for her to bear. 

Distress, pain and anguish is all she knows before her vision goes white, and all she can think about is that it’s happening again. It’s happening just like it did at Beacon.

_Penny…_

* * *

When Ruby regains consciousness again, everything hurts. Her body is spasming from the inside with muscle pains, her nerves still tingling like a sunburn. There’s something white hot pulsating behind her eyes. The silky sheets and blankets around her body are soothing and cool, but not enough to fend off the pain. 

Ruby struggles to move, but she manages to shift herself further up her pillow so she can see better. Silver eyes fall to her left, where she see’s Nora still unconscious and wrapped in bandages next to her. The fireplace is roaring, sending an orange glow flooding into the cold, wintery bedroom. 

“Ruby,” A voice calls out to her. It’s low, and concerned, but so, so relieved. Ruby turns her head to see Blake rushing towards her from a couch by the window. Blake takes her hand into her own, ears folding worriedly. “How are you feeling?”

Words feel like sandpaper on her tongue. She likes her lips, gaze falling to the sheets. “I…” It’s all she can bring herself to say.

Blake nods in understanding, leaning forward to give her a hug. She pulls away after a few moments of silence. “Ruby… there’s something you should know. “After… after Penny shut down-”

Ruby found herself glaring at Blake. “She… didn’t shut down. She _died_ , Blake. She was a person just like you and me.” 

Blake seemed to fold in on herself and cower under her stare. Blake’s never reacted like that before. At least… never towards her. Ruby suddenly finds herself ashamed, and tries to calm herself down. She tries the breathing exercises Maria taught her to calm her mind. _In for six, out for six, in for six, out for six_. Her anger slowly ebbs away, but in its place is guilt and shame.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby whispers. “I didn’t mean to snap.”

“No, I get it,” Blake assures her, placing a hand on her arm. “No harm done.”

Ruby shakes her head. “No… I- you didn’t deserve that.”

“Ruby,” Blake’s golden eyes are piercing her, suddenly stern and serious. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

She eyes Blake curiously, bunching up the blanket in her cold hands. “Doing… what, exactly?”

“Suppressing your feelings.”

“I don’t-”

“Yes, you do!” Blake interrupts her, throwing her fists to her side and stomping her foot down. Ruby starts, then looks away, hoping the faunus won’t see what she’s hiding behind her mirrored eyes. Until a hand grabs onto her face and yanks her back around, and she’s face to face with Blake once more. “Don’t. _Don’t_ do this to us. To your team.”

Ruby bites her lip, and tries to fight against Blake’s hold by focusing on the bed beneath her. “But… I can’t, Blake,” Her voice quivers. “I’m the team leader. I’m supposed to help you when you need me. I’m supposed to be an example for you, and if I’m not… then what reason do you have to follow me?”

“And that means hiding things from us when you’re the one who needs us?” Blake cries. “In what world does anyone think that that’s what a leader is required to do? Ruby…” 

Her voice is suddenly full of despair as she takes Ruby’s face in both her hands. “You’re not just a leader to us, okay? You’re our _friend_ too. To me, friendship comes _before_ leadership. Friends look out for each other.” She pauses and shakes her head. “You can’t handle the weight of the world, and the weight of your own feelings by yourself. After everything you’ve done to help us… let us return the favour. Please.” 

Ruby doesn’t know how to respond. She’s kept things hidden away for so long… her emotions are a mess. Her chest is tight as she shakes her head with disbelief. “I… wouldn’t even know where to start, Blake,” She admits. “and I… I don’t know if I can.”

“It’s okay,” Blake says. “Talking about feelings is hard. Take your time.”

Ruby nods, giving her friend a smile, before she remembers something. “What… were you going to say before all that?”

“Oh,” Blake rubs her arm. “Yeah… that. Uh, we think… after Penny passed, her… aura went into you, Ruby. If… you were in her final thoughts last, then…”

Oh. 

Ruby shrivels up, her body shaking. She draws her knees up to her chest and hugs them close, shaking her head. She doesn’t want to believe it. She doesn’t want these powers, because having the maiden powers means that Penny is really gone, maybe this time maybe for good. 

“Blake,” She says weakly, voice breaking. She can feel the floodgates opening. There’s a pinhole in the dam that’s been holding back all her emotions, and the pressure is building. It’s about to burst, and she can’t stop it. She won’t be able to hide it. “What… what do I do?” 

There’s pity in Blake’s eyes and her ears droop as she takes Ruby’s hands in hers. “What you always do,” She and Ruby are eye level with each other, and Ruby can see the tears in Blake’s eyes beyond her blurred vision. The faunus smiles softly. “Keep moving forward.”

The pinhole ruptures, and the tears start gushing from her eyes uncontrollably. She thrusts herself into Blake’s arms, hiding her face from reality as much as she possibly can and wails in earnest. She’s never been particularly good at feelings. But when she speaks now to Blake, projecting her thoughts, for once in her life her words are honest and true.

“I _can’t.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Here lies the remains of Ruby’s positive mental attitude. It will be missed.
> 
> Kinda wanna write a depression arc before it happens in canon. 
> 
> in the middle of writing the conclusion to this, I paused for like 10 mins imagining a happy ending for it... so it may or may not be continued. Idk I said i was gunna continue Two Jailbirds and a Pipsqueak and I still have nothing so we’ll see. I might do the reactions of Yang and maybe a Ruby and Cinder encounter. No promises though lol. 
> 
> Please go check out the Line of Succession series by BunniesofDoom, it’s the inspiration of this work!


End file.
